So, Here We Go...
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started this blog. It has to be at least half a dozen. So, I’m praying this one finally sticks!
Why am I having such a hard time with it, you might ask? The plain truth is that I’m a private person. There aren’t many things I share beyond my circle of very close friends, so putting myself out there like this almost feels like an invasion of my own privacy.
So, why am I writing this?
I’d love to take the easy way out and say, “I don’t know,” or that I simply feel like sharing. But the truth is, I feel convicted to write this. What do I mean by that? Well, let's get into it. I think you'll understand as we go.
My story began nearly 20 years ago with random aches and pains, weight gain, insomnia, anxiety, depression—you name it, I've probably dealt with it.
Some of you reading this will thank the good Lord that you haven't experienced these things, while others might be thinking, Girl, you ain't seen nothing!
And honestly, both perspectives are valid!
I saw something on social media the other day that really stuck with me. It was about putting everyone's problems into one big bag, reaching in, and having to choose a different set of problems, knowing you might end up with something worse.
Instagram @amandawhitespeare
I DID need to see that! Because, honestly, I'm not sure I would risk it.
I know my problems on an intimate level. I know my body. As beat up as it may be, it's mine. Even when it betrays me, it's still mine. Most of the time, I feel like I have some control over my problems. But lately, life has shown me that I'm really not in control at all!
And let me tell you, this year has been a doozy! It's been almost two months since I pretty much died. Yes, you read that right. I almost DIED.
Not many people can say that, and I thank the Lord that I'm one of the fortunate few who get to tell the story.
And here's the kicker: Almost exactly one year before that, I had another close call. Twice in roughly a year's time, I came frighteningly close to meeting our Creator, and yet here I am, still on this side.
God must have a reason for keeping me here!
So, I started thinking. What's the reason? What makes me so special? What do I have to offer that might benefit someone else?
For most of my adult life, I've figured my way of serving others was through providing tax guidance. You see, my day-to-day job is as an Enrolled Agent, and I specialize in taxes. Helping people navigate the often-confusing world of taxes has been my way of using what I know to help others.
I tried to pour myself into my small business this past year, but nothing I did seemed to work. In fact, that's a pretty big theme throughout my life, but we'll get into that as we go along.
So, I continued to struggle. I've prayed about this many times over the past year, and especially over the last couple of months. And time after time, the same thought kept coming back to me: Write.
Write what? About what? Who would even want to read it?
Then one evening, my husband and I were sitting on our front porch talking when he said, "You need to write a cookbook."
Now, I've always enjoyed writing, and over the years I've said more times than I can count that I was going to write a book. But something about that conversation just clicked.
Why not?
Why not share my recipes with others? Why not share what I've learned, what I'm trying, and maybe even a few things I'm still figuring out?
You see, another part of this journey is learning to be more intentional about how I take care of myself. That includes what I put into my body. I've always enjoyed cooking, especially making things from scratch, but I want to become more mindful about the ingredients I use and the foods I prepare.
I'm not talking about fad diets, giving up everything I love, or pretending I'll never eat a brownie again (because let's be realistic!). I'm talking about finding a better balance, using wholesome ingredients, and learning to nourish my body without sacrificing the joy of good food.
We are not, and probably never will be, completely self-sufficient. There are still plenty of things I buy at the grocery store. But I enjoy knowing what's going into the food I prepare for my family, and I want to be more intentional about those choices.
You'll probably find a few recipes sprinkled throughout my posts, too. Some healthier than others, but all made with the intention of enjoying good food and making better choices.
And maybe, just maybe, this blog will turn into that cookbook someday.
For now, I'm going to take it one post at a time, one recipe at a time, and see where God leads me.
So, here we go!